2.22.2014

This isn't a breakup letter.

It really isn't.
To break up you have to be together, right?
We aren't. We weren't. We never will be.

And I'm just sick of us being one-sided. 
You... You.... You..... You.
You are the cigarette to my chain smoker, as crappy a simile as that may be.
You're slowly killing me and I like the feeling.
You know what you are.
You know why I've stayed this long.
(The patches aren't helping.)

I tear off pieces of my soul to give to you and you just throw them out with the birds and mice your cat considers gifts. Decaying out in the dirt with all the other garbage.
Maybe I just want to be recognized for my efforts. (Are you proud of me yet? Are you proud? I can hurt myself just like you hurt me.)

You'd rather take my body than my heart, but you'd still break both and ignore their tears.

The worst part is, I know you won't care about this letter. 
Actually, I lied. 
That's the second worst part. 
The worst part is that I know I won't care about it either. 
I've tried I quit you time and time again, but I've always been bad at resisting the cravings.


Have I ever told you you taste like sin? Because satan knows my biggest weakness and sometimes I want to tear out my hair because nothing feels like your hands wound up in it.

Kay. Bye.

--Alis




13 comments:

  1. "You'd rather take my body than my heart, but you'd still break both and ignore their tears" i loved this line. Super creative. Very real. Real emotion.

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  2. "You're slowly killing me and I like the feeling." "You'd rather take my body than my heart, but you'd still break both and ignore their tears." "Have I ever told you you taste like sin?" This whole post really connects and makes you feel something. I'm crazy about it. It's so honest and that's hard.

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  3. Yes to this. It's exactly what Im thinking RIGHTNOW.

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  4. You literally took my life and wrote in a post, but it's not the first time you've done this, so I'm just beginning to think that you are me from an alternate universe, you're just a lot more creative.

    I love this so much.

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  5. OH MY GOSH IM WRITING IN ALL CAPS CAUSE THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

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  6. I feel like all of us have felt this at one point or another.

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  7. **gasps**
    **chokes on bagel**
    **dies**
    **but actually from the pure beautifulness of this**

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  8. "And I'm just sick of us being one sides."
    Love love love this.
    #stolen so fast

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  9. This is lovely! I don't even know how to tell you how amazing and real this is! "Because satan knows my biggest weakness and sometimes I want to tear out my hair because nothing feels like your hands wound up in it." #stolen.. okay, really #stolen all of it.

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  10. "sometimes I want to tear out my hair because nothing feels like your hands wound up in it."

    am i right

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  11. You're slowly killing me and I like the feeling.
    You know what you are.
    You know why I've stayed this long.
    (The patches aren't helping.)

    hey I somehow stumbled upon your blog and this post is just perfect. thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You're slowly killing me and I like the feeling.
    You know what you are.
    You know why I've stayed this long.
    (The patches aren't helping.)

    hey I somehow stumbled upon your blog and this post is just perfect. thank you.

    ReplyDelete